A reflection of my emotions, my mood; the way I feel. Colors give me joy but they will also show the sadness and frustrations I experience. Therefor, I call them colors of life. The paintings I make are really a piece of me; a short story from that moment. Usually a moment of happiness but also a way to express the harsh truth of life. A reality which I sometimes would like to escape or get stuck in so I never have to let go of that particular lovely moment, no better way to do that then using colors.
Someone asked me once which color compositions I use. Back then, I did not really know what was meant by that question but I started to think about it. Color compositions can be really theoretical. I, on the other hand, have a very different approach and definition of color compositions. The color compositions in my paintings are really just a compositions of my feelings. An intuitive motion; my eyes see the colors, through my emotions I feel them and if it feels right I will apply them on the canvas. No more and no less. Most of the times I do not even use a paint palette. The canvas is my palette and the palette becomes the painting, right from the heart. The process of creating a piece which resembles the heart, is almost like a love story. When I met my lovely man, my eyes had seen him standing in a room crowded with people, then I felt a warm feeling and I knew it was alright. In that moment I did not know how the story was going to turn out but I just went with it. A little insecure but my intuition never lets me down, I just have to listen to it. It was not a real smooth beginning of our love story but which fairy-tale is. Snow white ate from a poisoned apple and lay in her coffin when the prince found her. Rapunzel got locked up in a tower and her prince had to climb up her hair before they lived happily ever after. Cinderella had to live double lives before she found her happy ending. Just like all the princesses I found my happily ever after with that warm person I met standing in the crowded room.
It works the same way when creating a painting. Sometimes it seems like I got all the colors in the right place, I mean in that moment it feels just right, but in a split second I get frustrated, add some big blobs of paint on the canvas and there goes a perfect feeling, a beautiful color composition; it is like a twist in a story line. I thought I knew how the story was going to end and than something changes which immediately changes the happily ever after in either a horrible or a lovely way. A feeling, a moment of happiness, a warm feeling, a tear of sadness, a blank thought or just too many thoughts all at once. A story inside my head, the story behind the paintings, immediately reveals the color compositions of the painting; my emotions, the pain or love I feel at that certain moment of applying the paint.
And honestly, even when the painting is finished and all the colors seem to be right, it can always change the next day. The painting really is a snapshot, a story which is never finished and will go on and on in my head. Also it leaves a little room for others to have them continue the story in a different way than mine. Therefor, the painting I create is not only a creation of me but will continue to be created by every person who will lay their eyes on the painting, their feelings and thoughts, a one of a kind connection they have with the work I create will make a different end to a story I started.